29th november 2002

feeling: hungryyyy~~! X_X
listening to: nothing


my back is still quite sore. i'm expecting it to be that way for the next couple of days. as long as it doesn't get much worse, thus preventing me from doing anything but laying on my stomach, i should be fine. sitting and laying down i can handle, beding down to pick something up on the other hand is a total pain (pun not intended, but definitely works). but all in all, it was totally worth it, even if i can't see the tattoo that well for myself, 'cause it's on my lower back and it's really hard to bend around enough to see it.
getting the tattoo hurt less than i thought it would, at first anyways. drawing the lines hurt next to none and even filling up the picture didn't really hurt until at the very end. i don't exactly know why, but the last five or so minutes were pure agony. my guess is that the tattooer (yes, that's a word, because i said so) was going through areas he had already color once, and that's why it hurt. or maybe my skin was just getting sensitive towards the end. who knows. but actually sitting on the chair for two bloody hours completely still "hurt" more than making the tattoo itself. my arms fell asleep after 10 minutes because i was forced to constantly rest my chin on them. breathing was also rather difficult.
all in all it wasn't as bad an experience i initially thought it would be, but i'm definitely not jumping at the chance of doing it again any time soon. XP

i think i'll go and have a salad now. this hunger is so totally killing me. i'm actually thinking that maybe i should start eating at school, since from now on 'til the end of january i'm going to have to be at school from 8am 'til 4pm every day, except on fridays when i can go home at 3pm. though i've managed through 10+ hours without eating these past few weeks, the constant gnawing feeling of hunger is not a very nice thing to feel.

also, i want a new layout. something ringwraith or eva related. i can't decide which. >.<


27th november 2002

feeling: braindead
listening to: bryan adams - get off my back


awww, why the hell not?! ;_; you almost had me jumping through the roof with that! you drawing jecht x auron would've so totally made my day. you are such a kill-joy. *sticks tongue out*
seeing as i could've used a little cheering up of that sort. the studia generalia (latin for "general studies", cause our school is so fancy ¬_¬)-lecture we just had must've been the most boring ever. there was a guy talking about the future of industrial and service fields when it comes to jobs, or some bs like that. i couldn't have cared less, it was so boring i damn near fell asleep after the first 10 minutes. and truth to be told, i can't remember a single thing the guy said because i just couldn't be bothered to pay that much attention. in fact, the most interesting thing about the whole one-hour-long lecture was that they guy had a shiny bald spot on the back of his head and for some reason i couldn't stop chuckling at this fact. i'm awful, i know. XP

i could kill for a hesburger chickensalad at the moment...

--

feeling: yaaayyy~!
listening to: bryan adams - brothers under the sun


i'm so totally loving this new portable cd-player o' mine! it's so swanky i could almost eat it! i never knew it's this cool to be able to listen to the music of your own preferance instead of people talking and making stupid noises. and the fact that this little sweetheart is also able to play mp3-cd's makes it all even better. now all i need to do is get some of those... stupid computer with no re-writing cd-rom. ¬_¬

whee! my exams for this period are done! i just had my last exam, which was maths. is it just me, or was the exam insanely easy? i finished 45 minutes early, but i hope that's because the questions indeed were that easy and not because i made stupid mistakes and didn't give proper answers. i answered all the six questions to the best of my ability and if i didn't make any stupid mistakes due to my own carelessness, they might all even be correct. now i'm not bouncing up and down with the expectation of getting an A, but i am expecting a good grade on this.
...though getting an A on maths would totally kick ass. ^_~

"don't let go" from the spirit: stalion of cimarron soundtrack reminds me of auron and jecht (see lyrics). is my head totally screwed up due to looking at too much yaoi? o_O

on another note, i'm gonna see the seamstress who's gonna do my gown for our prom-kind-of-thing today at 4pm. that makes kat a very happy gurl. ^_^ also, i'm getting nervous about tomorrow. i think i'm subconsciously afraid of getting an infection from the tattoo needle. XD

and just because i'm bored:





XD XD XD


26th november 2002

feeling: poop
listening to: nothing


someone please tell me, what the hell is lainsäädäntö in english? the word was a part of my english exam and i couldn't remember it for the life of mine. no thoughts whatsoever came to mind, so eventhough it was against my better judgement, i ended up leaving it blank. don't you just hate it when you cram all the wrong things for your exams? i studied the names of different diseases (i know how to spell diarrhoea! ^o^) and environmental words for my exam, but as it turned out, i should've focused on political vocabulary. one of the reading comprehensions centering around the above-mentioned politics was especially tricky, and i think by far the worst i've seen so far. though i pretty much understood the text itself answering the questions about it was pretty hard. i'm still expecting to get a good grade on the exam, as i think overall i did pretty well. and of course, if i get anything lower than 9 as my grade, i'm going to seriously hurt someone. most likely myself.

oh yeah, and also...
NEVER EVER answer the phone by saying "hai, moshi moshi?" [yes, hello?] in finland unless you're sure the person on the other end is either japanese or at least knows what the hell you're saying. because i did that last night and it was really embarrassing. i actually thought it was mom calling, and as she knows what the before-mentioned sentence means, i felt secure enough to use it when i answered the phone. hilariously enough, it wasn't mom, but someone else who apparently didn't know what "hai, moshi moshi?" means. i suspect this because there was a long silence on the other end and then they just hung up the phone. i felt like being swallowed by the earth right there and then, it was so embarrassing. my face must've been beet-red, whether from laughing so hard inwardly or from embarrassement, i can't say. but i'm so not answering the phone from now on. XD


25th november 2002

feeling: somewhat weird
listening to: tenkuu no escaflowne - no need to promise


today i disliked:

* the weather
* slipping on ice and almost falling on my butt several times
* tripping over my own feet and almost falling on my face
* sucking at my physics exam
* not feeling energetic enough to pick my new walkmans from the post office
* being able to see my breath in the buss 'cause it was so cold
* people not remembering it's my name day today (i'm petty, i know)
* the keyboard i had to use at school
* having to make the decision to skip school on thursday in order to get that tattoo of mine done

chiko-chiko is also harrassing me about making a "proper entry" (meaning i have to talk about neon genesis evangelion ;P), so i guess i'll give it a go.

anyhoo, as chiko-chiko already mentioned, we watched the whole 26 episodes of neon genesis evangelion this weekend, most of it on saturday. there were several things i didn't understand, but it's all starting to clear up as chiko-chiko is explaining me things from faqs. there are still some things the faqs don't answer, so i'm wondering about them on my own. figures i'm asking questions about things that never occured to anyone else, or better yet, everyone else understood. XP
my first question is still why 01 was such a loonie. through the faqs i understood the main reason why all the eva units are a bit wrong in the head, but that still doesn't explain why unit 01 was so much worse than 00 and 02. i mean, he (she?) ate the dead angel, for gaea's sake! O_O and while we're on the subject of it, that was one freaky scene. it was amusing and disturbing at the same time to watch 01 walk on four legs. he reminded me of those nobody-monsters in devil may cry. though i gotta say, i *heart* it every time 01 goes berserk. ^.^

all in all, nge is one kick-ass show. i just hope shinji had a bit more guts to go on. sometimes his constant wimpiness got on my nerves so much i wanted to punch him. he's piloting an eva unit, for cyin' outloud! it's the coolest thing one ever gets to do, if you ask me, and he should be very very proud of the fact that he's able to do it. i'd kill to be able to get his "job"! O_O

also on the plus side, the eva units have got to be included among the sexiest mechas ever! gotta love the slim-with-overly-long-legs design! ^_^ i lost count on the times something they did made me squeal like a little girl. though one scene in particular is worth a mention; the person who came up with the scene where units 01 and 02 are half-buried in water/ground with only their long legs sticking in the air after losing to an angel totally deserves to be given loads of ice cream! that scene had me laughing/squealing for ages! XD

--

feeling: nauseous
listening to: my head pounding


i just got a nasty headache from eating. hm, figures.

i just screwed myself over in yet another physics exam. i'm too tired and too headachy to dwell on it, but it still makes me angry at myself. why is it that i just can't make myself understand and be good at physics? it's just a matter of practice, right? it seems that whatever the main subject of the physics course is, i can't master it enough to do well on the exam. makes me feel pretty pooey...

i'm thinking of making an appointment for next thursday to get a tattoo. it will cost me around 150 euros, plus the appoinment fee of 20 euros, but i figured it would be worth it. and since i want to have it done before xmas, and since i'm not allowed to take a sauna for two weeks (O_O!!) after getting the tattoo done, i should get it done as soon as possible. don't want to miss the ultimate coolness of xmas sauna at grandma's place. ^_^
anyone with experience on getting a tattoo done: it doesn't hurt that much, does it?

i still have an english lesson before i can go home. i'm still thinking that these prep lessons during the exam week are a total waste of everyone's time. i've never been on a prep lesson that would prove über-useful in the exam itself. and i'm sure all of you can pretty much guess what the prep lesson for english will consist of. grammar grammar and more grammar. oh, and have i ever told you that i hate studying grammar? ¬_¬

*goes to look at some yaoi*


22nd november 2002

feeling: blah
listening to: nothing


one down, three to go.
my philosophy exam today was a disaster, more or less. i didn't study for it pretty much at all and it's definietly going to show on the grade. i managed to scribble down some answers, so i should at least pass the exam, but i'm so not going to get any kind of decent grade on it. i didn't even write the essay that was required because i couldn't think of anything to write. the questions were weird (as can be expected in a philosophy exam) and i realized i don't know a damn thing about the subjects, and i was too tired to come up with anything original. so there goes six points... ahh well, i'm a little too tired to care. i don't even like philosophy and it's definitely not going to have anything to do with my future profession.
speaking of which... the signs indicate that i'm going to have to attend university either in oulu or abroad. neither seems really tempting at this point, but at least oulu has some interesting subjects to study. would you look at this! O_O

oi, chiko-chiko! text me the address of the new tattoo shop. y'know, the one who's ad you found at my hairdresser's? text me the addy and i might check it out today after school to ask them about prices and getting a tattoo of a picture of your own choice. okie?

i need some yaoi...


21st november 2002

feeling: surprisingly well
listening to: guys goofing around


this must be the first time in a long while that i'm not hungry in school. granted, i did eat a piece of bread during lunchtime, but that was more for the sake of keeping company to one of my friends than for the sake of hunger. besides, there was rice pudding (why the hell is it called pudding? it's not pudding, it's porridge!) for lunch, and i'm so not eating anything even remotely related to porridge. i'm guessing this, along with my surprisingly good mood, is due to the fact that i got the assignment for my adp lessons done in time. plus because of the neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection box set that i finally managed to buy and the fact that things for my prom- kind-of-thing are finally starting to sort themselves out. we're meeting with the seamstress, who's going to do my gown, on wednesday and today we'll (hopefully) get chiko-chiko's tux rented. i'm also going to talk to my hairdresser about making an appointment to get my hair done early in the morning on the big day (14th february). i still haven't decided whether i'm going to get extensions done on my hair or if i'm just going to keep it short, so i'm also going to talk to her about that.

phew.

oi, sis! claim one more time that your yoshi or any other drawing of yours sucks and i'm going to go very violent on you. i have never seen a single drawing from you that would really "suck", and i don't think i ever will, either.
so shut up, and draw me what i asked from you as an xmas pressie. ;D

you're actually telling me that it wasn't kakashi and iruka who smooched in your dream, but the buss driver? yeah right, as if i'm gonna believe that! XD

--

feeling: w00t!
listening to: some girls make weird noises in the hallway


I GOT IT DONE!! *dances wildly around anyone who happens to be reading*
in case you're wondering, i'm talking about my adp course assignement. it took me two hours (¬_¬), but i finally got it to do everything it's supposed to do and it should even be mostly bug-free at the moment. major yayness at that. i figure this incredible task was accomplished mostly because i came to school today earlier than i was supposed to freely work on the assignment. in reality my lessons wouldn't start today until at 12:30pm, but i dragged myself here already at 9am so i would get this sucker done. seeing as the deadline for these things is next monday, today is the last day i have the chance to work on it before my exams begin tomorrow. so in all, i think this was worth sacrificing a few hours of extra sleep.

phew. i feel so much relieved now that i got the assingment done. perhaps my grade won't be such a disaster after all. ^_^

i'm also thinking that i got an extra boost of energy from the package i picked up from the post office last night. that's right, i was finally able to bring home the spiffy-looking case that contains all 26 episodes of neon genesis evangelion. at least i know what i'm gonna be doing the whole weekend. ^_~

we're gonna go and rent a tux for chiko-chiko today. should be interesting. i'm hell-bent on getting her a swallowtail (is that what it's really called? o_O) but i don't think she's so thrilled with the idea. i bet she's hoping all the rental shops are all sold-out on swallowtails and we'll have to get her a tuxedo in stead. i just think it would be so adorable if she wore a swallowtail. i blame this on black waltz 03. ;P


20th november 2002

feeling: somewhat amused
listening to: people talking. i want my walkmans. ;_;


*stops drooling after yaoi for a sec*
...nani? o_O oh yeah. *whipes drool off cheeks* i have nothing constructive to add to your topic. you know i can't say diddly-squad when it comes to art-stuff. all i can say is "wow!" or "awesome!" and things like that, and that's hardly constructive. not to mention it's embarrassing to talk like that about your art when everyone else is going on about shading and pencil work and such. O_O

perhaps the musquito froze to death or something. not to say that there's cold in our house (XD), but i mean that maybe it came from outside all frozen-up and stuff, and then when it came in it started to melt and just...died from it. like that whole brain- freezing thingy, y'know?
*looks at what she just wrote* some ethologist i'm going to be... ¬_¬

ookay, time for me to head to the bank. i shall bring goodies as i come home - in the shape of evangelions. ^_~

--

hurr hurr. i guess drawing a pyramid head to your sister isn't exactly the ultimate show of affection in other people's opinion. poor souls, they don't know what they're missing. XD

*protects chiko-chiko from the evil mosquito* ^_^

w00t, i just figured what to buy drew for xmas! ^o^

gonna pick up my neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection box set from the post office later today. major yayness. ^^

--

feeling: blah
listening to: comps humming


so much for a well-done hairdo. i hate the weather today. ~_~

help me! i'm not getting anything done! O_O
i <3 the computers here, though.


19th november 2002

feeling: hungry. didn't see that coming, didcha?
listening to: bryan adams & sarah mclachlan - don't let go, which is stuck in my head


hurr. it seems to be a constant state for me these days, but i'm - again - extremely tired and hungry. i'm on my lunchbreak at the moment, and if i were smart i'd go get something to eat. but i'm not smart, and hence won't get anything to eat. from the school cafeteria, at least. eesh.

i'm gonna have to stay in school today 'til 6pm. how sucky is that? today of all days, when i'm feeling ready to fall over from exhaustion any minute, i'm gonna have to stay at school to develop photos for my photography lessons. in all actuality, it isn't a hard task at all, i just don't feel like it today. four extra hours...i must be out of my mind. thankfully time really flies in the dark room, so if i just manage to contain my hunger, i should be alright. but still, getting home well after six isn't exactly a charming idea. x_X

hopefully i'll get something meaningful done on my adp lessons today. it drives me up the damn walls to be so clueless when it comes to my course assignment. i just hope that i'll get it done in time. getting a lousy grade on something i initially found so easy would be embarrassing. ~_~

thanks for the p-head-butt, sis. it sure cheered up my day. and no, for more cheer-up, i shall go look at some yaoi. ta-ta! ;P


18th november 2002

feeling: fed up
listening to: nothing


i'm so sick of everyone's attitudes that i could just cry. lately there's been something wrong with everyone, and all they do is complain and feel sorry for themselves. i've had it up to my ears. i wish they would stop pulling me into it.

i definitely need to learn how to say 'no'. i'm so damn tired that i could just fall over right here and right now, and going home is the first thing on my mind at the moment. but alas, i promised a friend i would check out a few rental shops for gowns for our up-coming prom-kind-of-thing today. well, she gets off school at 4pm and i have to wait for her, since i got off at 2pm. what a total turn-off. at the moment i'm not the greatest company, and to be honest, neither is she. some personal issues she has to deal with, and quite frankly, i don't feel like listening to her go on and on about them. no offense, but i'm really not on the mood right now. being told off by our physics teacher wasn't exactly the kind of experience that leaves one smiling for the rest of the day...

the worst thing about this is that it could actually be fun to go around the town with her, if you exclude the fact that she might be complaining about her relationships the whole time. but simply don't feel like going anywhere but home today, least of all out at the town when it's freezing cold and otherwise an all-around nasty weather. i know it would be extremely bitchy of me to drop her a text-message saying that i don't feel like doing this today and that we'll do it another time if she wants to, but that's what i'm tempted to do at the moment.

besides, i'm hoping that my neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection box set might've arrived today. so naturally i want to go pick it up, instead of checking out some rental shops for gowns when my own gown is going to be custom-made and visiting rental shops has nothing to do with me. except for the part where i have to rent a tux for riikka, but that's beside the point.

ahh well. i guess i'll live. *shrugs*

--

feeling: useless
listening to: teacher talking


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH~~!! the assignment for adp is driving me up the walls!! i don't know what the hell i'm doing and i'm probably never gonna get it done in time. i'm so gonna fail this course... *faints like sakura*


15th november 2002

feeling: tired and hungry
listening to: spirit - rain, which is stuck in my head


let's see if i can do this without messing up my tables...


I am Shiva! I may not be one for comradery, but I get the job done with icy precision. Beware of my Diamond Dust!
What Final Fantasy summon are you? Click here to find out!
This test created by Cp's Coo Coo Planet

i think that's pretty true. i really am not the one for comradery. XD

very hungry. still three hours of school to go, and then it's weekend. thank waltz. if only i could not attend my art lessons. they're so boring they make me want to throw things. ~_~

still waiting for neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection box set to arrive...


14th november 2002

feeling: hungryyy~~
listening to: my stomach growl


inkblot test, from emode:

"Katri, your unconscious mind is driven most by Self-protection.
Whether you know it or not, your unconscious mind is defending your internal emotional experiences. It acts like an emotional dam that helps you keep things in check. One reason for this could be that you have a deeply-rooted fear of being flooded by emotions. In response, your unconscious acts in the opposite manner, by protecting you from unpredictable, emotional tidal waves. While this tendency might be useful in some circumstances, it may also at times make your emotions hard to articulate or grasp. And that can lead to some frustration.
Since you tend to appear level-headed to others, they feel they can count on you for sound opinions and advice. Another benefit of your unconscious drive is that it allows you to remain calm in the toughest of situations. This can be a real benefit for you during business negotiations or personal arguments because you're not apt to say damaging things that you'll have to apologize for later.
The only hazard with this drive towards self-protection, is you might filter out good emotions as well as the bad. That can leave you feeling like something is missing, something you can't quite place.
But ultimately, your unconscious is wise and will know if there is a time in the future where it would be beneficial to be different. Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Self-protection, there is much more to who you are at your core."

ack! that's actually true. i know i have a tendency to "hide" away my feelings, whether it be consciously or spontaneously. figures that inkblot-thing actually knows something... o_O

--

Outcast
The Subculture Label Quiz

brought to you by Quizilla

You are an... OUTCAST! Nobody hates you, you just hate them. Or vice versa. You really don't like being around people, being by yourself is much better company. You are not accepted by the norm and are deemed "weird" or "freaky". You appreciate things that others don't, and you dwell in your indifference.

a bit over-the-top, maybe, but mostly true. especially the hating people-part. it seems that they would usually accept me a lot easier than i would accept them. i just think people are generally idiots, and that's why i don't really get that many new friends. and it really is true that i can't stand being around people for long that aren't really dear to me (i love being around my sis!). and yes, most people think i'm weird and freaky. mostly probably because of my interests (it's weird that i wasn't a geek, like my sis). and like it says, the things that i don't aprreciate and mostly indifferent to me.

on another note, i feel weird spending 200 euros on this (neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection box set, the second item on the page). but i figured that if i won't buy it for myself now that i for once have enough money, then no one is gonna by it for me, either. besides, it'll be well worth it. ^_^


13th november 2002

feeling: O_O
listening to: people talking


dude, if this isn't a good enough of a motivator to finish upper secondary school, i don't know what is! O_O


12th november 2002

feeling: so sleepyyyy~~
listening to: humming of the comps


geez drew, your swedish is almost better than mine! i ph33r your 1337 swedish skillz! O_O

--

glad you like my hair. ^^

thanks inanna, i'll try to keep that in mind. it's just a bit hard at times... oh, and i want to become an ethologist when i grow up. though designing videogames would be wicked, as well. ^_^

i've got maths next. i hate explaining the teacher where i've been, 'cause she always thinks i skipped the lessons that i missed. which in this case is true, but she doesn't need to know that. i wanna go home and get some more sleep. the lack of shut-eye combined with the fact that i'm a bit hungry but refuse to eat at school (you'll get a food-poisoning from the food here for certain!) is giving me a nasty head-ache.
*goes to look at some yaoi to make self feel better*

the course assignment for adp is very definitely going to be the end of me. i'll never get it done on time. x_x

oh, shut up maccie! i get up at 6:30am every morning for school. getting up at 8am is a friggin' walk in the park, you lazy bum! ;P


11th november 2002

feeling: stupid
listening to: bryan adams - i will always return


i'm so pathetic. i can't even win an argument against myself. ~_~ i spent the whole morning debating with myself whether or not i felt studious enough to go to school today. one side of me (that would be me) felt that i would have to go to school no matter how tired i was and that i could easily manage 5 hours in that hell-hole. this side of me also felt that it would be highly embarrassing to yet again explain where the hell i've been the whole day. but the other side of me (that would be the lazy me that simply doesn't give a toss) argued that it would be so much more fun just to stay at home and do stuff i really want to do instead of stuff that i'm told to do. besides, one day more won't get you into trouble as long as you explain where you've been. and in the end, explaining isn't so embarrassing if just do it without thinking too much about what the teacher thinks of you. eventually that side of me was more convincing, and i stayed at home. and i hate myself for that because i know going in tomorrow will be twice as hard since i didn't go in today. anyone know if there's a cure for lazyness?

on a more happy note, i'm going to get a haircut today. at long last. my hair isn't exactly overgrown yet, but it's starting to be increasingly difficult to manage it in the mornings. especially when i'm in a hurry, and that's not a good thing. wanting to look good and having to be at school at 8am aren't the best buddies, as you can probably imagine.

i should also visit the library today. i need to find a book about esp and psychokinesis that also has discriptions of actual events where they have been used. it also needs to have some sort of scientific explanation whether or not something like esp and psychokinesis can actually exist, and why/why not. i need this for my philosophy assingment.

i wish riikka would wake up soon so i can turn up the volume of the music. :P

a quizzy-thing, stolen from sissy:

2 songs that make you happy:
zone of the enders - kiss me sunlights
final fantasy - prelude (refractive mix)

2 songs that make you cry:
zone of the enders - jehuty will self-destruct?
final fantasy 10 - suteki da ne

2 songs that describe relationship with parents:
o_O can't think of any...

2 songs that make you ponder life:
final fantasy 10 - a fleeting dream
zone of the enders - ada (promise)

2 songs that remind you of you:
bryan adams - you can't take me
visions of escaflowne - the day the wind blows

2 songs you want played at your funeral:
enya - may it be
bryan adams - brothers under the sun

2 songs you want played at your wedding:
bryan adams - everything i do (i do it for you)
final fantasy 8 - waltz for the moon

2 songs that make you want to mosh:
bryan adams - summer of '69
bryan adams - 18 'til i die

2 songs that are best played at maximum volume:
york - the awakening
final fantasy - prelude (any techno remix)

2 songs that sum up your teenage years:
bryan adams - cuts like a knife
nightwish - sleeping sun

2 songs best played in the car:
final fantasy - prelude hardcore oc remix
final fantasy 9 - dubnofantasyaloneman oc remix

2 songs you like to fall asleep to:
zone of the enders: dolores,i - lullaby of dolores
final fantasy 10 - to zanarkand

2 songs that remind you of a crush:
rod steward - have i told you lately (that i love you)
bryan adams - you're still beautiful to me


9th november 2002

feeling: extremely fangirlish ^^
listening to: final fantasy 8 - melodies of life


*eyes buldge out and mouth hangs open* O_O
delightful, indeed. :D~~ *plays it again and again* ^^

i think i should start working on that philosophy assingment we were supposed to be doing yesterday. it appears that my partner just assumeed i would follow the others to the school library and work with her there (she should know me better than to assume that i would follow anyone anywhere), while i went to the computer lab (where we usually work on this kind of assingments) and waited for her there. i don't know if she got anything done (i sure heck didn't. *drooled over auron x jecht yaoi the whole time* ^^;;), but it doesn't really matter since we'll have to work separately anyways. this kind of stuff always seems to happen to me... ~_~'


8th november 2002

feeling: amused ^^
listening to: people making noises


oh yes, yesterday indeed was a good day. my sides are still sore from laughing so much, and if i do so much as think about yesterday, an idiotic grin starts to form on my face. that was really some good stuff. ^^
oh yeah, i'll make her visit the site. i included it in an email i sent her. if she doesn't visit on her own, i'll make her visit it on monday when i see her on adp class. ^_~

--

feeling: extremely tired
listenign to: people talking


people at the computer lab are giving me weird looks as i browse through these. i wonder why? XD
*is obsessed*

i want to go home so bad. i'm really really hungry, but i've quit eating at school. i feel like just leaving and not looking back, but i have to be here for my english and art lessons. mostly because i can't afford to skip them anymore, plus because i promised a friend i'd develop some photos with her today. suck. i'm also supposed to meet my dad after i get out at 3pm, so it would be really pointless to leave now and come back after two hours. so i guess i'll just have to hang in there.

we were supposed to work on a philosophy assingment today, but my partner decided to vanish into thin air. so we didn't work on it. i guess we'll have to work on it separately on our spare time, since we're supposed to present to assingment next wednesday. whatever, i don't really even care.


6th november 2002

feeling: heavy, but amused
listening to: annoying noises


w00t, two people said "go!" for me! ^^

*nose explodes* XD

i don't know why, but lately i've been feeling so very very... lifeless i guess would be the word. last friday i left home in the middle of the day because i couldn't stand being at school. i skipped the whole following monday, and yesterday and today though being physically at school, it feels like my mind - or me is somewhere a whole lot farther away. i get the distinct feeling that i don't belong here, and i feel like a zombie among the living, or something. i get annoyed at the tiniest noise or stupidity, i can't stand people talking to me or touching me, and somehow i feel like i'm not really even here. it's feels so unreal that at times i wonder if i'm still asleep, or if people even actually see me.
my next lesson is philosophy. waltz knows that's the last place i want to be right now. as i've mentioned before, i can't stand the lessons and i can stand the teacher even less. grr. i just want to go home, take a long nap and play some ffx all day long. but no, i'm going to have to be here until 4pm. i'm not at all sure i can survive that long.
school is playing ever smaller part in my life by the day. i guess it's the season. all this darkness is really getting to me. they should cancel school for the duration of winter, like they do for summer. a holiday from november 'til february would be extremely nice.

friday five:
(again, i know it's not friday, but i don't care)

1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
yes. christianity.

2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?
no. haven't believed in god for a long time now, and finally managed resigned myself from the church last month.

3. What do you think happens after death?
nothing. when you die, you die. period.

4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?
i don't have a favourite. though weddings are always nice, religious or not.

5. Do you believe people are basically good?
i believe people are basically idiots.


5th november 2002

feeling: anemic XD
listening to: the teacher talking


*gets a nosebleed*

whoo! i went to school today, and also managed to stay there for the whole day! now everyone say: "go yoz!" ^^