29th november 2002
feeling: hungryyyy~~! X_X
listening to: nothing
my back is still quite sore. i'm expecting it to be that way for
the next couple of days. as long as it doesn't get much worse,
thus preventing me from doing anything but laying on my stomach,
i should be fine. sitting and laying down i can handle, beding
down to pick something up on the other hand is a total pain (pun
not intended, but definitely works). but all in all, it was
totally worth it, even if i can't see the tattoo that well for
myself, 'cause it's on my lower back and it's really hard to bend
around enough to see it.
getting the tattoo hurt less than i thought it would, at first
anyways. drawing the lines hurt next to none and even filling up
the picture didn't really hurt until at the very end. i don't
exactly know why, but the last five or so minutes were pure
agony. my guess is that the tattooer (yes, that's a word, because
i said so) was going through areas he had already color once,
and that's why it hurt. or maybe my skin was just getting
sensitive towards the end. who knows. but actually sitting on
the chair for two bloody hours completely still "hurt" more than
making the tattoo itself. my arms fell asleep after 10 minutes
because i was forced to constantly rest my chin on them.
breathing was also rather difficult.
all in all it wasn't as
bad an experience i initially thought it would be, but i'm
definitely not jumping at the chance of doing it again any time
i think i'll go and have a salad now. this hunger is so totally
killing me. i'm actually thinking that maybe i should start
eating at school, since from now on 'til the end of january i'm
going to have to be at school from 8am 'til 4pm every day, except
on fridays when i can go home at 3pm. though i've managed through
10+ hours without eating these past few weeks, the constant
gnawing feeling of hunger is not a very nice thing to feel.
also, i want a new layout. something ringwraith or eva related.
i can't decide which. >.<
27th november 2002
listening to: bryan adams - get off my back
awww, why the hell not?! ;_; you
almost had me jumping through the roof with that! you drawing
jecht x auron would've so totally made my day. you are such a
kill-joy. *sticks tongue out*
seeing as i could've used a little cheering up of that sort. the
studia generalia (latin for "general studies", cause our school
is so fancy ¬_¬)-lecture we just had must've been the most boring
ever. there was a guy talking about the future of industrial and
service fields when it comes to jobs, or some bs like that. i
couldn't have cared less, it was so boring i damn near fell asleep
after the first 10 minutes. and truth to be told, i can't
remember a single thing the guy said because i just couldn't be
bothered to pay that much attention. in fact, the most interesting
thing about the whole one-hour-long lecture was that they guy
had a shiny bald spot on the back of his head and for some
reason i couldn't stop chuckling at this fact. i'm awful, i know.
i could kill for a hesburger chickensalad at the moment...
listening to: bryan adams - brothers under the sun
i'm so totally loving this new portable cd-player o' mine! it's
so swanky i could almost eat it! i never knew it's this cool to
be able to listen to the music of your own preferance instead of
people talking and making stupid noises. and the fact that this
little sweetheart is also able to play mp3-cd's makes it all even
better. now all i need to do is get some of those... stupid
computer with no re-writing cd-rom. ¬_¬
whee! my exams for this period are done! i just had my last exam,
which was maths. is it just me, or was the exam insanely easy?
i finished 45 minutes early, but i hope that's because the
questions indeed were that easy and not because i made stupid
mistakes and didn't give proper answers. i answered all the six
questions to the best of my ability and if i didn't make any
stupid mistakes due to my own carelessness, they might all even
be correct. now i'm not bouncing up and down with the expectation
of getting an A, but i am expecting a good grade on this.
...though getting an A on maths would totally kick ass. ^_~
"don't let go" from the spirit: stalion of cimarron
soundtrack reminds me of auron and jecht (see lyrics). is my head totally screwed up due to
looking at too much yaoi? o_O
on another note, i'm gonna see the seamstress who's gonna do my
gown for our prom-kind-of-thing today at 4pm. that makes kat a
very happy gurl. ^_^ also, i'm getting nervous about tomorrow.
i think i'm subconsciously afraid of getting an infection from
the tattoo needle. XD
and just because i'm bored:
XD XD XD
26th november 2002
listening to: nothing
someone please tell me, what the hell is lainsäädäntö in
english? the word was a part of my english exam and i couldn't
remember it for the life of mine. no thoughts whatsoever came to
mind, so eventhough it was against my better judgement, i ended
up leaving it blank. don't you just hate it when you cram all the
wrong things for your exams? i studied the names of different
diseases (i know how to spell diarrhoea! ^o^) and
environmental words for my exam, but as it turned out, i
should've focused on political vocabulary. one of the reading
comprehensions centering around the above-mentioned politics was
especially tricky, and i think by far the worst i've seen so far.
though i pretty much understood the text itself answering the
questions about it was pretty hard. i'm still expecting to get a
good grade on the exam, as i think overall i did pretty well. and
of course, if i get anything lower than 9 as my grade, i'm going
to seriously hurt someone. most likely myself.
oh yeah, and also...
NEVER EVER answer the phone by saying "hai, moshi moshi?"
[yes, hello?] in finland unless you're sure the person on the
other end is either japanese or at least knows what the hell
you're saying. because i did that last night and it was really
embarrassing. i actually thought it was mom calling, and as she
knows what the before-mentioned sentence means, i felt secure
enough to use it when i answered the phone. hilariously enough,
it wasn't mom, but someone else who apparently didn't know what
"hai, moshi moshi?" means. i suspect this because there was a
long silence on the other end and then they just hung up the
phone. i felt like being swallowed by the earth right there and
then, it was so embarrassing. my face must've been beet-red,
whether from laughing so hard inwardly or from embarrassement, i
can't say. but i'm so not answering the phone from now on. XD
25th november 2002
feeling: somewhat weird
listening to: tenkuu no escaflowne - no need to promise
today i disliked:
* the weather
* slipping on ice and almost falling on my butt several times
* tripping over my own feet and almost falling on my face
* sucking at my physics exam
* not feeling energetic enough to pick my new walkmans from the
* being able to see my breath in the buss 'cause it was so cold
* people not remembering it's my name day today (i'm petty, i
* the keyboard i had to use at school
* having to make the decision to skip school on thursday in
order to get that tattoo of mine done
chiko-chiko is also
harrassing me about making a "proper entry" (meaning i have to
talk about neon genesis evangelion ;P), so i guess i'll
give it a go.
anyhoo, as chiko-chiko already mentioned, we watched the whole 26
episodes of neon genesis evangelion this weekend, most
of it on saturday. there were several things i didn't understand,
but it's all starting to clear up as chiko-chiko is explaining
me things from faqs. there are still some things the faqs don't
answer, so i'm wondering about them on my own. figures i'm
asking questions about things that never occured to anyone else,
or better yet, everyone else understood. XP
my first question is still why 01 was such a loonie. through the
faqs i understood the main reason why all the eva units are a
bit wrong in the head, but that still doesn't explain why unit 01
was so much worse than 00 and 02. i mean, he (she?) ate the
dead angel, for gaea's sake! O_O and while we're on the subject
of it, that was one freaky scene. it was amusing and disturbing
at the same time to watch 01 walk on four legs. he reminded me
of those nobody-monsters in devil may cry. though i
gotta say, i *heart* it every time 01 goes berserk. ^.^
all in all, nge is one kick-ass show. i just hope shinji
had a bit more guts to go on. sometimes his constant wimpiness
got on my nerves so much i wanted to punch him. he's piloting
an eva unit, for cyin' outloud! it's the coolest thing one ever
gets to do, if you ask me, and he should be very very proud of
the fact that he's able to do it. i'd kill to be able to get
his "job"! O_O
also on the plus side, the eva units have got to be included
among the sexiest mechas ever! gotta love the slim-with-overly-long-legs
design! ^_^ i lost count on the times something they did made
me squeal like a little girl. though one scene in particular is
worth a mention; the person who came up with the scene where
units 01 and 02 are half-buried in water/ground with only their
long legs sticking in the air after losing to an angel totally
deserves to be given loads of ice cream! that scene had me
laughing/squealing for ages! XD
listening to: my head pounding
i just got a nasty headache from eating. hm, figures.
i just screwed myself over in yet another physics exam. i'm too
tired and too headachy to dwell on it, but it still makes me
angry at myself. why is it that i just can't make myself
understand and be good at physics? it's just a matter of practice,
right? it seems that whatever the main subject of the physics
course is, i can't master it enough to do well on the exam.
makes me feel pretty pooey...
i'm thinking of making an appointment for next thursday to get a
tattoo. it will cost me around 150 euros, plus the appoinment
fee of 20 euros, but i figured it would be worth it. and since i
want to have it done before xmas, and since i'm not allowed to
take a sauna for two weeks (O_O!!) after getting the tattoo done,
i should get it done as soon as possible. don't want to miss
the ultimate coolness of xmas sauna at grandma's place. ^_^
anyone with experience on getting a tattoo done: it doesn't hurt
that much, does it?
i still have an english lesson before i can go home. i'm still
thinking that these prep lessons during the exam week are a total
waste of everyone's time. i've never been on a prep lesson that
would prove über-useful in the exam itself. and i'm sure all of
you can pretty much guess what the prep lesson for english will
consist of. grammar grammar and more grammar. oh, and have i ever
told you that i hate studying grammar? ¬_¬
*goes to look at some yaoi*
22nd november 2002
listening to: nothing
one down, three to go.
my philosophy exam today was a disaster, more or less. i didn't
study for it pretty much at all and it's definietly going to show
on the grade. i managed to scribble down some answers, so i
should at least pass the exam, but i'm so not going to get any
kind of decent grade on it. i didn't even write the essay that
was required because i couldn't think of anything to write. the
questions were weird (as can be expected in a philosophy exam)
and i realized i don't know a damn thing about the subjects, and
i was too tired to come up with anything original. so there goes
six points... ahh well, i'm a little too tired to care. i don't
even like philosophy and it's definitely not going to have
anything to do with my future profession.
speaking of which... the signs indicate that i'm going to have
to attend university either in oulu or abroad. neither seems
really tempting at this point, but at least oulu has some
interesting subjects to study. would you look at this! O_O
oi, chiko-chiko! text me
the address of the new tattoo shop. y'know, the one who's ad
you found at my hairdresser's? text me the addy and i might
check it out today after school to ask them about prices and
getting a tattoo of a picture of your own choice. okie?
i need some yaoi...
21st november 2002
feeling: surprisingly well
listening to: guys goofing around
this must be the first time in a long while that i'm not hungry
in school. granted, i did eat a piece of bread during lunchtime,
but that was more for the sake of keeping company to one of my
friends than for the sake of hunger. besides, there was rice
pudding (why the hell is it called pudding? it's not pudding,
it's porridge!) for lunch, and i'm so not eating anything even
remotely related to porridge. i'm guessing this, along with my
surprisingly good mood, is due to the fact that i got the
assignment for my adp lessons done in time. plus because of the
neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection box set that
i finally managed to buy and the fact that things for my prom-
kind-of-thing are finally starting to sort themselves out. we're
meeting with the seamstress, who's going to do my gown, on
wednesday and today we'll (hopefully) get chiko-chiko's tux rented. i'm also going to
talk to my hairdresser about making an appointment to get my
hair done early in the morning on the big day (14th february).
i still haven't decided whether i'm going to get extensions
done on my hair or if i'm just going to keep it short, so i'm
also going to talk to her about that.
oi, sis! claim one more
time that your yoshi or any other drawing of yours sucks
and i'm going to go very violent on you. i have never seen a
single drawing from you that would really "suck", and i don't
think i ever will, either.
so shut up, and draw me what i asked from you as an xmas
you're actually telling me
that it wasn't kakashi and iruka who smooched in your dream, but
the buss driver? yeah right, as if i'm gonna believe that! XD
listening to: some girls make weird noises in the hallway
I GOT IT DONE!! *dances wildly around anyone who happens
to be reading*
in case you're wondering, i'm talking about my adp course
assignement. it took me two hours (¬_¬), but i finally got it to
do everything it's supposed to do and it should even be mostly
bug-free at the moment. major yayness at that. i figure this
incredible task was accomplished mostly because i came to school
today earlier than i was supposed to freely work on the
assignment. in reality my lessons wouldn't start today until at
12:30pm, but i dragged myself here already at 9am so i would get
this sucker done. seeing as the deadline for these things is
next monday, today is the last day i have the chance to work on
it before my exams begin tomorrow. so in all, i think this was
worth sacrificing a few hours of extra sleep.
phew. i feel so much relieved now that i got the assingment done.
perhaps my grade won't be such a disaster after all. ^_^
i'm also thinking that i got an extra boost of energy from the
package i picked up from the post office last night. that's
right, i was finally able to bring home the spiffy-looking case
that contains all 26 episodes of neon genesis evangelion.
at least i know what i'm gonna be doing the whole weekend. ^_~
we're gonna go and rent a tux for
chiko-chiko today. should be interesting. i'm hell-bent on
getting her a swallowtail (is that what it's really called? o_O)
but i don't think she's so thrilled with the idea. i bet she's
hoping all the rental shops are all sold-out on swallowtails and
we'll have to get her a tuxedo in stead. i just think it would
be so adorable if she wore a swallowtail. i blame this on black
waltz 03. ;P
20th november 2002
feeling: somewhat amused
listening to: people talking. i want my walkmans. ;_;
*stops drooling after yaoi for a sec*
...nani? o_O oh yeah.
*whipes drool off cheeks* i have nothing constructive to add to
your topic. you know i can't say diddly-squad when it comes to
art-stuff. all i can say is "wow!" or "awesome!" and things like
that, and that's hardly constructive. not to mention it's
embarrassing to talk like that about your art when everyone else
is going on about shading and pencil work and such. O_O
perhaps the musquito froze to death or something. not to say that
there's cold in our house (XD), but i mean that maybe it came
from outside all frozen-up and stuff, and then when it came in it
started to melt and just...died from it. like that whole brain-
freezing thingy, y'know?
*looks at what she just wrote* some ethologist i'm going to
ookay, time for me to head to the bank. i shall bring goodies
as i come home - in the shape of evangelions. ^_~
hurr hurr. i guess drawing a pyramid head to
your sister isn't exactly the ultimate show of affection in
other people's opinion. poor souls, they don't know what they're
*protects chiko-chiko from
the evil mosquito* ^_^
w00t, i just figured what to buy drew for xmas! ^o^
gonna pick up my neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection
box set from the post office later today. major yayness. ^^
listening to: comps humming
so much for a well-done hairdo. i hate the weather today. ~_~
help me! i'm not getting anything done! O_O
i <3 the computers here, though.
19th november 2002
feeling: hungry. didn't see that coming, didcha?
listening to: bryan adams & sarah mclachlan - don't let go, which
is stuck in my head
hurr. it seems to be a constant state for me these days, but i'm
- again - extremely tired and hungry. i'm on my lunchbreak at the
moment, and if i were smart i'd go get something to eat. but i'm
not smart, and hence won't get anything to eat. from the school
cafeteria, at least. eesh.
i'm gonna have to stay in school today 'til 6pm. how sucky is
that? today of all days, when i'm feeling ready to fall over from
exhaustion any minute, i'm gonna have to stay at school to
develop photos for my photography lessons. in all actuality, it
isn't a hard task at all, i just don't feel like it today. four
extra hours...i must be out of my mind. thankfully time really
flies in the dark room, so if i just manage to contain my
hunger, i should be alright. but still, getting home well after
six isn't exactly a charming idea. x_X
hopefully i'll get something meaningful done on my adp lessons
today. it drives me up the damn walls to be so clueless when it
comes to my course assignment. i just hope that i'll get it done
in time. getting a lousy grade on something i initially found so
easy would be embarrassing. ~_~
thanks for the p-head-butt, sis.
it sure cheered up my day. and no, for more cheer-up, i shall go
look at some yaoi. ta-ta! ;P
18th november 2002
feeling: fed up
listening to: nothing
i'm so sick of everyone's attitudes that i could just cry. lately
there's been something wrong with everyone, and all they do is
complain and feel sorry for themselves. i've had it up to my
ears. i wish they would stop pulling me into it.
i definitely need to learn how to say 'no'. i'm so damn tired
that i could just fall over right here and right now, and going
home is the first thing on my mind at the moment. but alas, i
promised a friend i would check out a few rental shops for gowns
for our up-coming prom-kind-of-thing today. well, she gets off
school at 4pm and i have to wait for her, since i got off at 2pm.
what a total turn-off. at the moment i'm not the greatest company,
and to be honest, neither is she. some personal issues she has
to deal with, and quite frankly, i don't feel like listening to
her go on and on about them. no offense, but i'm really not on
the mood right now. being told off by our physics teacher wasn't
exactly the kind of experience that leaves one smiling for the
rest of the day...
the worst thing about this is that it could actually be fun to
go around the town with her, if you exclude the fact that she
might be complaining about her relationships the whole time. but
simply don't feel like going anywhere but home today, least of
all out at the town when it's freezing cold and otherwise an
all-around nasty weather. i know it would be extremely bitchy of
me to drop her a text-message saying that i don't feel like
doing this today and that we'll do it another time if she wants
to, but that's what i'm tempted to do at the moment.
besides, i'm hoping that my neon genesis evangelion: perfect
collection box set might've arrived today. so naturally i
want to go pick it up, instead of checking out some rental shops
for gowns when my own gown is going to be custom-made and
visiting rental shops has nothing to do with me. except for the
part where i have to rent a tux for
riikka, but that's beside the point.
ahh well. i guess i'll live. *shrugs*
listening to: teacher talking
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH~~!! the assignment for adp is
driving me up the walls!! i don't know what the hell i'm doing
and i'm probably never gonna get it done in time. i'm so gonna
fail this course... *faints like sakura*
15th november 2002
feeling: tired and hungry
listening to: spirit - rain, which is stuck in my head
let's see if i can do this without messing up my tables...
I am Shiva! I may not be one for comradery, but I get the job
done with icy precision. Beware of my Diamond Dust!
What Final Fantasy summon are you?
Click here to find out!
This test created by Cp's Coo Coo Planet
i think that's pretty true. i really am not the one for comradery.
very hungry. still three hours of school to go, and then it's
weekend. thank waltz. if only i could not attend my art lessons.
they're so boring they make me want to throw things. ~_~
still waiting for neon genesis evangelion: perfect collection
box set to arrive...
14th november 2002
listening to: my stomach growl
inkblot test, from emode:
"Katri, your unconscious mind is driven most by
Whether you know it or not, your unconscious mind is defending
your internal emotional experiences. It acts like an emotional
dam that helps you keep things in check. One reason for this
could be that you have a deeply-rooted fear of being flooded by
emotions. In response, your unconscious acts in the opposite
manner, by protecting you from unpredictable, emotional tidal
waves. While this tendency might be useful in some circumstances,
it may also at times make your emotions hard to articulate or
grasp. And that can lead to some frustration.
Since you tend to appear level-headed to others, they feel they
can count on you for sound opinions and advice. Another benefit
of your unconscious drive is that it allows you to remain calm
in the toughest of situations. This can be a real benefit for
you during business negotiations or personal arguments because
you're not apt to say damaging things that you'll have to
apologize for later.
The only hazard with this drive towards self-protection, is you
might filter out good emotions as well as the bad. That can leave
you feeling like something is missing, something you can't quite
But ultimately, your unconscious is wise and will know if there
is a time in the future where it would be beneficial to be
different. Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly
by Self-protection, there is much more to who you are at
ack! that's actually true. i know i have a tendency to "hide"
away my feelings, whether it be consciously or spontaneously.
figures that inkblot-thing actually knows something... o_O
The Subculture Label Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
You are an... OUTCAST! Nobody hates you, you just hate them.
Or vice versa. You really don't like being around people, being
by yourself is much better company. You are not accepted by the
norm and are deemed "weird" or "freaky". You appreciate things
that others don't, and you dwell in your indifference.
a bit over-the-top, maybe, but mostly true. especially the hating
people-part. it seems that they would usually accept me a lot
easier than i would accept them. i just think people are generally
idiots, and that's why i don't really get that many new friends.
and it really is true that i can't stand being around people for
long that aren't really dear to me (i love being around
my sis!). and yes, most people think i'm weird and freaky.
mostly probably because of my interests (it's weird that i wasn't
a geek, like my sis). and like it says, the things that i
don't aprreciate and mostly indifferent to me.
on another note, i feel weird spending 200 euros on this (neon genesis evangelion: perfect
collection box set, the second item on the page). but i
figured that if i won't buy it for myself now that i for once
have enough money, then no one is gonna by it for me, either.
besides, it'll be well worth it. ^_^
13th november 2002
listening to: people talking
dude, if this isn't a good enough of a motivator to
finish upper secondary school, i don't know what is! O_O
12th november 2002
feeling: so sleepyyyy~~
listening to: humming of the comps
drew, your swedish is almost better than mine! i ph33r your
1337 swedish skillz! O_O
glad you like my hair. ^^
inanna, i'll try to keep that in mind. it's just a bit hard
at times... oh, and i want to become an ethologist when i grow
up. though designing videogames would be wicked, as well. ^_^
i've got maths next. i hate explaining the teacher where i've been,
'cause she always thinks i skipped the lessons that i missed. which in
this case is true, but she doesn't need to know that. i wanna go
home and get some more sleep. the lack of shut-eye combined with
the fact that i'm a bit hungry but refuse to eat at school
(you'll get a food-poisoning from the food here for certain!) is
giving me a nasty head-ache.
*goes to look at some
yaoi to make self feel better*
the course assignment for adp is very definitely going to be the
end of me. i'll never get it done on time. x_x
oh, shut up maccie! i get up at 6:30am every morning
for school. getting up at 8am is a friggin' walk in the park,
you lazy bum! ;P
11th november 2002
listening to: bryan adams - i will always return
i'm so pathetic. i can't even win an argument against myself. ~_~
i spent the whole morning debating with myself whether or not i
felt studious enough to go to school today. one side of me (that
would be me) felt that i would have to go to school no
matter how tired i was and that i could easily manage 5 hours in
that hell-hole. this side of me also felt that it would be highly
embarrassing to yet again explain where the hell i've been the
whole day. but the other side of me (that would be the lazy me
that simply doesn't give a toss) argued that it would be so much
more fun just to stay at home and do stuff i really want to do
instead of stuff that i'm told to do. besides, one day more won't
get you into trouble as long as you explain where you've been.
and in the end, explaining isn't so embarrassing if just do it
without thinking too much about what the teacher thinks of you.
eventually that side of me was more convincing, and i stayed at
home. and i hate myself for that because i know going in tomorrow
will be twice as hard since i didn't go in today. anyone know if
there's a cure for lazyness?
on a more happy note, i'm going to get a haircut today. at long
last. my hair isn't exactly overgrown yet, but it's starting to
be increasingly difficult to manage it in the mornings.
especially when i'm in a hurry, and that's not a good thing.
wanting to look good and having to be at school at 8am aren't the
best buddies, as you can probably imagine.
i should also visit the library today. i need to find a book
about esp and psychokinesis that also has discriptions of actual
events where they have been used. it also needs to have some
sort of scientific explanation whether or not something like esp
and psychokinesis can actually exist, and why/why not. i need
this for my philosophy assingment.
i wish riikka would wake
up soon so i can turn up the volume of the music. :P
a quizzy-thing, stolen from
2 songs that make you happy:
zone of the enders - kiss me sunlights
final fantasy - prelude (refractive mix)
2 songs that make you cry:
zone of the enders - jehuty will self-destruct?
final fantasy 10 - suteki da ne
2 songs that describe relationship with parents:
o_O can't think of any...
2 songs that make you ponder life:
final fantasy 10 - a fleeting dream
zone of the enders - ada (promise)
2 songs that remind you of you:
bryan adams - you can't take me
visions of escaflowne - the day the wind blows
2 songs you want played at your funeral:
enya - may it be
bryan adams - brothers under the sun
2 songs you want played at your wedding:
bryan adams - everything i do (i do it for you)
final fantasy 8 - waltz for the moon
2 songs that make you want to mosh:
bryan adams - summer of '69
bryan adams - 18 'til i die
2 songs that are best played at maximum volume:
york - the awakening
final fantasy - prelude (any techno remix)
2 songs that sum up your teenage years:
bryan adams - cuts like a knife
nightwish - sleeping sun
2 songs best played in the car:
final fantasy - prelude hardcore oc remix
final fantasy 9 - dubnofantasyaloneman oc remix
2 songs you like to fall asleep to:
zone of the enders: dolores,i - lullaby of dolores
final fantasy 10 - to zanarkand
2 songs that remind you of a crush:
rod steward - have i told you lately (that i love you)
bryan adams - you're still beautiful to me
9th november 2002
feeling: extremely fangirlish ^^
listening to: final fantasy 8 - melodies of life
*eyes buldge out and mouth hangs open* O_O
delightful, indeed. :D~~ *plays it again and
i think i should start working on that philosophy assingment
we were supposed to be doing yesterday. it appears that my
partner just assumeed i would follow the others to the school
library and work with her there (she should know me better than
to assume that i would follow anyone anywhere), while i went to
the computer lab (where we usually work on this kind of
assingments) and waited for her there. i don't know if she got
anything done (i sure heck didn't. *drooled over auron x jecht
yaoi the whole time* ^^;;), but it doesn't really matter since we'll
have to work separately anyways. this kind of stuff always seems
to happen to me... ~_~'
8th november 2002
feeling: amused ^^
listening to: people making noises
oh yes, yesterday indeed
was a good day. my sides are still sore from laughing so much,
and if i do so much as think about yesterday, an idiotic grin
starts to form on my face. that was really some good stuff. ^^
oh yeah, i'll make her visit the site. i included it in an email
i sent her. if she doesn't visit on her own, i'll make her visit
it on monday when i see her on adp class. ^_~
feeling: extremely tired
listenign to: people talking
people at the computer lab are giving me weird looks as i browse
through these. i wonder why? XD
i want to go home so bad. i'm really really hungry, but
i've quit eating at school. i feel like just leaving and not
looking back, but i have to be here for my english and art lessons.
mostly because i can't afford to skip them anymore, plus because
i promised a friend i'd develop some photos with her today. suck.
i'm also supposed to meet my dad after i get out at 3pm, so it
would be really pointless to leave now and come back after two
hours. so i guess i'll just have to hang in there.
we were supposed to work on a philosophy assingment today, but
my partner decided to vanish into thin air. so we didn't work on
it. i guess we'll have to work on it separately on our spare
time, since we're supposed to present to assingment next
wednesday. whatever, i don't really even care.
6th november 2002
feeling: heavy, but amused
listening to: annoying noises
w00t, two people
said "go!" for me! ^^
*nose explodes* XD
i don't know why, but lately i've been feeling so very very...
lifeless i guess would be the word. last friday i left home in
the middle of the day because i couldn't stand being at school.
i skipped the whole following monday, and yesterday and today
though being physically at school, it feels like my mind - or
me is somewhere a whole lot farther away. i get the
distinct feeling that i don't belong here, and i feel like a
zombie among the living, or something. i get annoyed at the
tiniest noise or stupidity, i can't stand people talking to me or
touching me, and somehow i feel like i'm not really even here.
it's feels so unreal that at times i wonder if i'm still asleep,
or if people even actually see me.
my next lesson is philosophy. waltz knows that's the last place
i want to be right now. as i've mentioned before, i can't stand
the lessons and i can stand the teacher even less. grr. i just
want to go home, take a long nap and play some ffx all day long.
but no, i'm going to have to be here until 4pm. i'm not at all
sure i can survive that long.
school is playing ever smaller part in my life by the day. i
guess it's the season. all this darkness is really getting to
me. they should cancel school for the duration of winter, like
they do for summer. a holiday from november 'til february would
be extremely nice.
(again, i know it's not friday, but i don't care)
1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?
no. haven't believed in god for a long time now, and finally
managed resigned myself from the church last month.
3. What do you think happens after death?
nothing. when you die, you die. period.
4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in
or just observing)?
i don't have a favourite. though weddings are always nice,
religious or not.
5. Do you believe people are basically good?
i believe people are basically idiots.
5th november 2002
feeling: anemic XD
listening to: the teacher talking
*gets a nosebleed*
whoo! i went to school today, and also managed to stay there for
the whole day! now everyone say: "go yoz!" ^^